shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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