been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
