So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
