your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
