my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
