She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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