We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
