Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
my poor anus
Two words: blizzard sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
