worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
