And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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