i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
