I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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