I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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