Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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