no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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