I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
