I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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