Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize