i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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