you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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