what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
