I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize