fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
