the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
