So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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