Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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