there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
