She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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