Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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