At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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