My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
