My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize