And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
