So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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