Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
