I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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