we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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