I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
