ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
