dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
