you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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