this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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