You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
