i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
