The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
