Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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