Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
