Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
