Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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