i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
