Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize