Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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