My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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