so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just cropdusted the office
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
