i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
