connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
