Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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