even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
